Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
