i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
