Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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