Girls should come with a carfax report
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
