Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The struggles of a small town man whore
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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