Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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