Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
