Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
