$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
