You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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