So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
