if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
