are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
