we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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