oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
