At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
