It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Randomize
