I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
