honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
