Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
