I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
