I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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