WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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