I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
