just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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