i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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