So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
