Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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