Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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