It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
