found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
