so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
