i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
