im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
