Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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