cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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