also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
