whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
