You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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