do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
