Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
this hospital has no fireball
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
