just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
