The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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