My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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