omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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