I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
