I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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