it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Two words: blizzard sex
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
