yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
