yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
