oh god the rape fog is back!
Welp...herpes.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
